BigDumbHick - The Performance Artist

My parents bought me a cheap guitar back from Mexico when I was 12 or 13 years old. I took a few lessons where I learned some basic chords. I wanted to be a rock star, but I didn't want to put in the time and effort necessary and I eventually forgot all about that guitar. I have no idea what ever even happened to the thing.

In 1983 I was in the Navy and my ship was was sitting on the gunline off the coast of Beirut, Lebanon. I was bored. There was absolutely nothing to do except sleep and stand watch. I had read every book that I could get my hands on. One day I am just sitting there staring at the water when I had a thought. One of the guys that I worked with had brought a guitar along, and I wondered if I still knew how to play. I picked up the guitar and was surprised that I still remembered those long ago learned chord shapes. When that cruise was over and we got back to the United States, I attended my first Bluegrass Festival in Smithfield Va to see Bill Monroe. It was there that I was introduced to the Jamming and Parking Lot picking and from that point on I was hooked.


Talking to my relatives, I discovered that I was not the first musician in teh family. It's something that we didn't talk about very much because of the shame,. but my great-grandfather on my mother's side was an alcoholic banjo player. (alcoholism is a requirement to be a banjo player in some states) I also discovered that my father was a local Honky Tonk singer. No wonder my mother divorced him, well at least he didn't play the banjo. Regardless, I come from a long line of attention whores. I guess that means that I come by it honest.


I was recently reading some psychiatric magazine mumbo-jumbo about Alpha Waves where it said that music, or the repetitive motions involved in making music, supposedly stimulated alpha waves in some peoples brains. It said that when your brain was in an alpha state, your brain slowed down and your awareness was supposed to expand, your fears would all vanish, you would feel a sense of peace and well being, and all of the hot chicks in the area would experience the overwhelming compulsion to show you their bare breasts. In other words, it said that Alpha waves are good.

I play music because I have to. I don't know if it is due to the Alpha Waves addiction, the fact that I am an attention whore, or just what it is that propels that need, I just know that I possess it. I crave playing music and being on stage like a junkie craves the needle. One of the greatest feelings I have ever experienced was playing with a group of people in a field in the middle of Nowhere, Missouri where by some magical fluke, we are all perfectly in synch, all of us were right in the pocket. The harmonies were perfect and everything was as it should be. Time just seemed to stop and the music just kind of crystallized in the air. I remembering being filled with an overwhelming sense of joy and intimacy and wondering if this was in anyway similar to what God must have felt like when He created the universe.

I have been chasing that feeling every since.

I've played in all kinds of different bands, both rock and country music, I've played bluegrass and old-time music with some pretty well known musicians on some respectable stages and around campfires all around the world. I have always wanted to put together my own band together, to play my kind of music, to follow my personal musical vision, instead of someone elses, but I have had difficulty finding these like-minded individuals who have the time to devote.

I have never let that stop me.

When I get the opportunity I play with others, I take it, but if there is no money to pay somebody else to play a gig along with me, I just do it by myself. I can pull that off and it's usually a whole lot less hassle.

I reallyhave a desire to be taken seriously as a musician, because I am under the delusion that I am a pretty good picker, but it seems like my personality, my natural irreverence, my disdain for any type of authority, and my self depreciating and totally whacked-out sense of humor all get in the way to the point where sometimes I'm not sure of whether I should market myself as a comedy act or a musical one... or both. I don't really write songs, instead I screw up other peoples songs. I don't perform them the way you are probably used to hearing them.  I've been accused by some of not playing some songs the correct way. In fact I was once referred to as a "Song Molester. " I'm not sure what that means. Also I have never understood what the correct way refers to. Now why in the hell would I want to ever play anything the correct way anyhow? I prefer to play these tunes my way.  I discovered that the Violent Femmes - Blister in the Sun makes a pretty damned good Honky Tonk song, as does Blue Oyster Cult's - Godzilla.

What I normally tell people from the stage is "If you want to hear these songs done the "right" way, well you are hearing them done the "right" way. If you really want to hear them the way that they were originally recorded, then go buy the damned original recordings, shut up and let the rest of us have our fun.


Recently, a friend called me to tell me that he had run across a DVD that contained some film he had shot of a couple of my solo performances and wanted me to have a copy. I have always had a difficult time explaining to people what it is that I do on stage. Telling people that I tell these stories and that I play fucked up hillbilly music that is best suited for getting drunk or divorced to just doesn't seem to adequately describe what it is that I do.  Now I have video evidence.

I'm getting ready to share that with you.

I now have in my possession an hour length DVD of these performances, Knowing what cheap bastards all of you are, I know that none of you would ever fork over the money to actually buy a DVD of my performances, so I broke it into manageable sections and posted it all on the You Tube.

Below you will find all of those clips, in the correct order. Below that are the links to teh album I recorded in about 2 hours last fall, Because this post is primarily being posted in an effort to get gigs, I am also going to post a recent set list. I know several hundred tunes, so that set list varies quite a bit.

Look all of this stuff over and then get hold of me at twangzine@gmail.com if you think that I may be the perfect entertainer for your next House Concert; Bar, Tavern, Restaurant, or Club; Pig Picking or Chicken Stew; Your Bris, Cross burning, Eid ul-Fitr, Juneteenth celebration, or Church Social Solstice; your  Engagement party, Wedding, Divorce Celebration, Hanging, Gay Pride event, Birthday Party, or any other event or celebration that you might be having.


Enjoy.
Jeff Wall
aka BigDumbHick

BigDumbHick - Jeff Wall - The DVD via YouTube




























BigDumbHick - Jeff Wall - It is what it is - The Album
Downloadable mp3's

01 - jeff wall - call me the breeze
02 - jeff wall - big river
03 - jeff wall - after midnight
04 - jeff wall - carmelita
05 - jeff wall - mississippi kid
06 - jeff wall - please be with me
07 - jeff wall - state trooper
08 - jeff wall - swinging doors
09 - jeff wall - taking care of business
10 - jeff wall - you shook me all night long


BigDumbHick - Jeff Wall - Typical Set List

Hello, I'm a BigDumbHick
    Are You Ready for the Country – Neil Young
    Big River – Johnny Cash
    No Expectations – Rolling Stones
Introduction & Story - George Jones & Heroin
    Dead Flowers - Rolling Stones
    Carmelita - Warren Zevon
    Lonesome Ornery and Mean – Steve Young
Story - Vatican
    Plastic Jesus - Unknown
    Gimme a Ride To Heaven Boy – Terry Allen
    The Lord'll Provide – Mike Cross 
Story - Ying/Yang
    Sympathy for the Devil – Rolling Stones
Story - My Criminal Career
    Time to get a gun – Freed Eaglesmith
    Folsom Prison Blues – Johnny Cash
    Washed My Hands in Muddy Water – Stonewall Jackson
    State Trooper – Bruce Springsteen
Story - Audience Participation
    Mercedez Benz - Janis Joplin
    YMCA – The Village People
    Dead Skunk - Louden Wainwright III
Story - Fucking up
    Company I Keep – Drive By Truckers
    Only Hell My Mama Ever raised – Johnny Paycheck
Story - Crazy Chicks
    Dim Lights, Thick Smoke – Joe Maphis
    That’s How I Got to Memphis – Tom T Hall
    Dixie Chicken – Little Feat
    These Boots Are Made For Walking – Nancy Sinatra
Story - My wife's music
    Blister in the Sun – Violent Femmes
    Help – the Beatles
Story - Rock and Roll
    Godzilla – Blue Oyster Cult
    Taking Care of Business – Bachman Turner Overdrive
    Seven Bridges Road – Steve Young
    You Shook Me All Night Long – AC/DC

2009 wrapup

2009 wrapup

2009 has been a rough year for the BigDumbHick. The good news is that I am still alive and I think that my dick still works. The bad news is that I am still unemployed.

In March of this year I lost my job. I am grateful that they kept me on as long as they did. I was told that the reason they let me go was due to the economy, I was the last technician hired so therefore I was the first technician let go. I understand all of that, but I also know that there were some other extenuating circumstances that factored in to my being laid off, things that were never actually brought up when I was given my pink slip.

First of all, I don't think that I was really a good fit for that position due to a variety of unspecified reasons. They did everything they could to welcome me and I did everything I could to earn my keep. I tried to do the absolute best job that I could do. However, looking back, I can see how the quality and quantity of my work was affected by undiagnosed severe clinical depression as well as ADHD. That doesn't serve as any kind of an excuse for anything, but it does explain a few things in my mind.

I was having trouble getting to work in the mornings. I was having trouble sleeping at night. I was having trouble even getting out of the truck once I did get to work. I was having trouble staying focused on task, and then standing around and just watching and observing a machine run was nothing less than wallowing in the deepest pits of hell for me.

I need shit to do, I'm no good at standing around. I was absolutely ecstatic when I had a task, especially one that I felt that I was competent at, or if not competent, learning something new. When asked to write operating and maintenance manuals, I would sit in my cubicle, turn on my mp3 player, and I would just get into the zone and write. I would get so into it that I would forget to go to lunch, I would lose all track of time and not know that it was quitting time until someone started turning off lights to go home.

When I was let go, My direct manager told me that one of his minor problems with me was an apparent lack of energy. I always seemed to be dragging ass and I had no enthusiasm. There were no issues with my personality or my technical skills. Everyone really, really liked me, and they were sorry to have to let me go, but they had no choice. He told me a couple of things I I might want to look at with my next job were punctuality and energy/enthusiasm level... and please don't come back in here and kill us all later.

I'm extremely grateful that he told me that, and a few months later I called him and told him just that.

I took his advise to heart and did some deep soul searching looking at my life and my work habits. Looking back, I have known that I suffered from depression for years, but I had always just stiff-armed it and ignored it. Looking back, I could see where my depression had been steadily getting worse for a number of years. I had always encouraged others to seek appropriate help for whatever mental illness issues they might be facing, but I felt that for me to do so would be a cop out.

Well, things finally got so bad that I had no choice but to do something or die. I considered driving into a bridge support at 120 mph. But I don't think my truck would do 120mph and with my luck I'd just end up too crippled to play music instead of dead. So I went to the VA Mental Health Clinic and told them that I was having some problems and asked for help.

Think whatever you want about the VA, but those people treated me right.

I ended up with a great psychiatrist who has no problems explaining things as well as asking questions and working with me to help me to find solutions to my problems.

I have experienced some decent highs this year along with some definite painful soul crushing lows. During the late summer/early fall I had about a week long period there where I had this suicidal compulsion come over me that I didn't think I was going to make it through, but I did.

I have worked really hard on taking care of myself and being compliant with my psychiatrists directions and meds. As a result, I am actually starting to see some improvement in my life. Someone really smart and famous once said that it is only through pain that we grow. That guy was an asshole. However, I have had a lot of damned growth opportunities this past year.

It is the end of 2009 and I am still unemployed. Earlier in the year I was fortunate enough to be able to write Casey Driessen's bio for his newest release OOG. It sucked. My bio that is, not Casey's record. I liked Casey's record, just not my bio. I just went and checked his website (http://www.caseydreissen.com) and I can't seem to find that bio on there anywhere. I understand, and I'm grateful. Still, I wrote one and I actually got paid for writing one, even though I shouldn't have. My writing absolutely sucked and I feel like I stole his money.

One of the things I found out about depression was that it left me unable to write at all. I was unable to work, or to even look for work. Some days I found that I was even unable to move my big ass off the couch.

Things are better today, HEY LOOK! I'M ACTUALLY WRITING AGAIN!!

Like I said, things have turned around for me as of late. I am able to write some now. I just did a small Cd review for American Songwriter. I'm actively looking for work and I'm even able to talk to potential employers face to face and on the telephone without sounding like the worlds most hopeless human being. I no longer sit in my truck crying for no reason at all, and I no longer wish to die.. or to kill your sorry ass. I'm still not back up to 100%, where I once was, but I feel like I am making progreas and am definitely headed that way instead of in the opposite direction. I got some hope back in my life today. Severe Clinical Depression ain't no joke y'all. If you need it, get some help. It really has saved my life...and maybe yours.

As for my 2009 Musical wrapup:

My Highlights:

- I got to meet the legendary Joe South and not only did I get to meet him, but I find out an article I wrote about him is on the front page of his website.
- The Drive By Truckers release The Fine Print was a G-R-E-A-T album. George Jones Talking Cell Phone Blues is a perfect song. I'm so damned glad that Jon Neff is back in the band. His playing was one of the things that caused me to fall in love with these hairy bastards more than 11 years ago.
- I got to meet Spooner Oldham and hang out with him for a bit. Great guy
- I got to make a record with my old buddy (emphasis on the word OLD) Donnie Winters
- My wife let me out of the house (actually kicked me out of the house) to go play music and she didn't kill me in my sleep like she has threatened to several times..


Music really gave me a lot of comfort this year, both listening to music as well as playing it. I'll get into the playing part in another post here in a few, I got some stuff to share with you.

As far as listening goes, Old standbys such as Jimmy Martin , Lightnin' Hopkins, Ralph Stanley, John Doyle, Muddy Waters, The Steeldrivers , all got listened to a lot. There should be a law that says that everyone is required to listen to Jimmy Martin, Muddy Waters, Ralph Stanley, and Lightning Hopkins on a weekly basis.

I was asked by a couple of different publications to send in my Best of 2009 list, but none of them were willing to pay me to do so, so I didn't get real excited about it. I don't really like ranking music. On one day, I might be in a huge JJ Cale mood (actually most days), the next day I might be thinking fondly of Barbara "Babs" Lamb and in the mood to listen to her.

So here are the 2009 releases that all spent the most time in my mp3 player....

(on a side note, concerning mp3's, Mp3's really suck for sound quality, and unfortunately my old piece of shit truck doesn't have a CD player so I get to listen to Mp3's, Satellite radio, or Terrestial Jesus Radio. Please, please, please don't illegally download these people's music. I personally know most of them and they ain't making shit. If you absolutely have to illegally download their music, you should hit yourself as hard as you can in the dick with a ball-peen hammer, then listen to your shitty mp3's before deciding that the record is awesome (and if it wasn't awesome, I wouldn't be telling you about it dumbass) and then once you can walk again, you should go buy the disc from the artist at one of their shows. Buy a T-shirt as well you cheap theiving bastard. SUPPORT LIVE MUSIC.)

BigDumbHick Best of 2009: (in no particular order)
The Drive-By Truckers - The Fine Print
Gurf Morlix - Last Exit To Happyland ,
Guy Clark - Somedays The Song Writes You ,
Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit-Seven Mile Island ,
JJ Cale-Roll On , (I love me some JJ Cale)
Kris Kristofferson - Closer To The Bone ,
Levon Helm - Electric Dirt ,
Loudon Wainwright III - High, Wide and Handsome,
Miranda Lambert - Revolution (Nice Fred Eaglesmith cover on here)
Peter Cooper - Mission Door, (This might be a 2008 release, but I spent a lot of 2009 listening to it)
Radney Foster - Revival,
Scott Miller-For Crying Out Loud,
Son Volt - American Central Dust,
Bottle Rockets - Lean Forward, (one of the best LIVE bands in America)
Barbara Lamb - Twisty Girl ,
Robert Earl Keen - The Rose Hotel ,
Tanya Tucker-My Turn ,
The Black Crowes - Before the Frost...Until the Freeze

There you have it. Thanks for the support people. Take care of yourself and each other.

Jeff Wall
http://www.bigdumbhick.com

Where do I go from here?

I'm not sure of the reason I originally set this blog up. When I first wanted to try and be a professional published writer I sent a piece that I had written to Peter Blackstock, one of the editors of No Depression. He told me that what I had written did not really fit in within the No Depression world, and that what I should do is to start my own publication.

Peter has always had a problem coming right out and telling you what it is he thinks. It would be a whole lot easier to just say "It sucks, You Suck, Go Way" and be done with it. Then at least you would know where it was you stood. Grant Alden, one of the other No Depression editors was much more straight forward and told me that I sucked numerous times, and I appreciate him for it.

When Peter told me to go start my own publication, that's just what it is that I decided to go do. Fuck him. I'd show that little Hippie sumbitch. So I started an online publication originally titled the Rural Route Twangzine which eventually became The Twangzine. The Twangzine opened a LOT of doors for me and had a good ten year run. My life started getting busy, I was a dad, and I retired from the Navy and suddenly I no longer had the free time that I once had, and the Twangzine lay fallow. I lost the Twangzine.com domain, I lost a couple of hosts, I tried to move it all over to Twangzine.net, until finally I had to accept that it was time to let it go.

So now I have to decide, what would be the best use of this space? Should I just do a traditional blog? Should I try to do another music site? Should I do a combination of the two?  I've also been playing out a lot more and I have a lot of video of that. Maybe I should just make this a site that emphasizes the performance aspects of my career. I'm just not really sure.

That's where I am counting on you people. How many of you actually read this shit? What do you want to see? Seeing as how this blog gets reposted on Facebook, and sometimes the No Depression website, I would prefer you to answer in the comments section of the BigDumbHick.com blog titled Where do I go from here.  Right now I am getting ready to saturate this sumbitch with several blog entries at once.

I hope you enjoy.